Posts Tagged ‘Sadness’

I’m a ghost,
But not of an afterlife,
I’m not dead,
Just not entirely here,
A hollow spirit,
I gave myself out too much,
Charity for too many hearts,
There was no blood left for me,

Each call for help,
Became a funeral invitation for me,
Burying more of myself,
I lost my form,
I wasn’t enough,
No more flesh,
Wasn’t enough to give,
It hollowed me out,

So now I float about an old house,
I wail in the twilight,
Gasping stridor in the black,
But I’m not here to startle,
Just to wallow in my own eulogy,
Ectoplasmic gibberish,
Among guttering candles,
And black cats,

Not enough,
Not,
Enough.

What went through your mind,
In those terminal moments?
As control was lost,
As the tyres cursed the road,
Before the impact,

Was it your family?
Your soon-to-be tearful spouse?
The little ones left behind?
All those holidays you’ll miss,
That place at the table nobody speaks of,

Or was it that last drink?
The sweetest of the evening,
The one your friends proposed,
The one nobody stopped you gulping,
Your conscience included,

Was it how you’d be if you made it?
The changes you’d make,
You’d get that new job,
Stop seeing that other woman,
Stop getting bags from that bad man,

As the vehicle careens,
It leaves tyre tracks,
Not only of obsidian rubber,
But also of a life of mistakes,
A car wreck of a life.

Among the great northern forests,
A being of folklore prowls,
All claws and antlers,
An emaciated spirit of famine,
Leathery skin strewn taut over elongated bones,
The very image of a corpse animated,
The pines whisper its name,
Wendigo,

Once a man,
During a cruel winter,
Driven mad by hunger,
Contorted into an abomination,
His mate and cubs became fodder,
But even such a massacre was not enough,
More meat,
Find more meat,

So many have fallen prey to its appetite,
And you may be next,
Sniff the air,
If you smell rot and decay,
You ought to flee posthaste,
The fallen leaves herald its coming,
More meat,
Never enough meat.

When my mind wanders,
Satchel in hand,
Along that silk road,
Passed borders and ideologies,
To those far eastern lands,
I cry tears of cracked sapphire,

My pleas may be silent,
But they are well-meaning,
Please reconsider,
Why not be a peoples republic,
For the actual people?
A land of plenty,

Such an elaborate and beautiful culture,
A land of swirling dragons,
A survivor of eras,
You should share your ways,
But not through a lense of conquest,
Join the party,

Is building a world,
With smog and meat wagons,
Wet markets and pointed heels,
With tear gas,
And censorship,
The only way for you?

Do you hate us so much?
Is control that important?
Are the parades of pride or of intimidation?
That great wall of yours,
Is it emotional as well physical?
Is it a bulwark against humanuity?

You’ve survived tyranny,
The burning rays of a rising sun,
And the hordes of mongolic composite bows,
You can be better,
A guardian spirit,
A watchful red dragon,

Please reconsider,
You can be better.

I hesitantly watch through my grimy window,
I spectate the mad streets below,
They are bloodcurdling places,
There be monsters,
There be humans,

I was once full of naive optimism,
I have the claw marks to show it,
Scars that were once sweet nothings,
Let down far too many times,
Now I find myself disliking you all,

I don’t like your looks,
Grey and black conformity,
Societal cannibalism,
Anthills of suits,
Fake eyelashes and manbuns,

I don’t like your sounds,
Hollering and ranting at one another,
Rudeness grates on my brain,
The diamonds among you,
Do not improve the haul of coal,

I may be repulsive,
Built on contempt,
But you are you,
Human unkind,
Human lose the race,

Why are you like this?
Why does your kind only destroy?
Are you truly mere monsters?
Manticores and medusae,
Or are my eyes blinded by isolation?

There was an eclipse last night,
The atmosphere grew heavy,
I scanned it with bloodshot eyes,
And I grew fearful,
To witness such beauty being obscured,
By a shadow of such an evil thing,

Witching hour…

As the lunar goddess was enshrouded,
The voices began their furor,
Rageful claws bore down,
Driven insane by the night air,
Be they spectre or succubi?
I was not privy,

New dawn…

I awaken sore and beaten,
Crimson scratches down my back,
A bruise or four,
I leave the abode into daylight,
The sun has taken the sky,
And I grow fearful.

Tonight we go to the old pub,
To revel in the end of days,
A pale ale cloud aloft,
It is not as we remember,
Much has changed,

Perspex pubs and gloved gatherings,
Alcoholism has overruled common sense,
And likely common decency,
Impatience has crafted a short memory,
Of a plague put by the wayside,

Merrymakers stay at their tables,
Masked mutterings,
With their bottles and glasses,
Served by fear,
Only death drinks at the bar,

Lets jump pits of fire,
Sharks teeth,
And toxic clouds,
All for a pint,
All for the alcohol,

Last call!
For good!

I am aqua,
But not the oasis you envision,
Not a forward flowing river,
I am stagnant,
I’ve not swelled in decades,

I’m an environmental hazard,
Wretched liquid in a pit,
The flow goes nowhere,
Mold is my only ally,
In this hopeless broth,

Drop stones and I only groan,
As if revelling in the painful ripples,
Sharing tales of dreams,
With the skulls and scum floating about,
Mosquitoes come for autographes,

Misery is the prime bacteria here,
It would take a herculean effort,
To get this water flowing once again,
This swill shall grow no lotuses,
No futures.

I seem to have become lost,
In some kind of alien junkyard,
A menagerie of past industries,
Oxidation permeates this place,
Many dreams died here,

I find a pocketwatch,
It tells no time,
Every digit is thirteen,

I come across an automobile engine,
But it no longer combusts,
It only breathes vacuous rot and decay,

I find a thermometer,
But it remains cold,
The mercury has fled,

I pick up a toy soldier,
No longer among the honour guard,
His legs were eaten by a foe of rust,

I spy an old mirror,
It displays no human form,
The cracks generate glass monsters,

I may be very lost,
But i’m quite alright,
I’ll be fine,
My dreams are dead,
I too shall rust away.

Life is a rusty pier,
Ruined by the eons,
With a meat grinder at the end,
A slaughterhouse on the river styx,
Bladed rollers slavering for gore,
Put there by a deific butcher,
The railings are strewn with warnings,
Attempting to mitigate our doom,
Yet they seem to be in languages,
Unknown to us,
Tongues of hope and diligence,

The wave below mock us,
Hissing jeers,
And throwing insults of mist,
The sea knows all as they say,
We’re given birth at the beginning,
In blood and pain,
Tagged with an expiration date,
Only to traverse this pier,
Towards further agony,
Further despair,
Meat for the industrial hunger,

More meat,
And more,
Ad infinitum.