Bob

It’s Ryan Sargent again, talking about his unlikely (and unwanted) companion. Who is it? What is it? How did Ryan meet this individual?

“Sometimes it may be unclear why I’m so certain the supernatural exists. I mean sure, I’ve seen plenty of weird and evil things. Getting proof of them is another matter entirely though. However, the ironic thing is i actually have proof in my very own home. Yes, i have something haunting my own home. I try to ignore the irony of that. I can’t prove something exists even though i technically live with it. I say haunting my home, but i really mean infesting my home. It wears a ginger wig, it eats nothing but peanut butter and it isn’t all that cooperative.

The damn thing won’t go away!

Thankfully it is sentient, it can speak. Surprisingly good English as it happens. It often interjects itself into my musings, usually unhelpfully. It tends to interrupt me equally as much. I wouldn’t consider it a hugely intelligent being, but for obvious reasons it does tend to have useful information on the supernatural. I’m not entirely sure what the being is. It doesn’t look like any demon I’ve ever seen, though it resembles the typical imp. It doesn’t appear to be dangerous. It doesn’t cause much trouble, it tends to just sit around eating.

It resembles a diminutive humanoid figure, with an insectoid face, complete with a bizarre amalgamation of a mouth. Both mammalian and insectoid. A grey, almost latex-like skin covers its body. It has 6 eyes, shining 3 different colors: red, green and blue. It’s wearing a ginger wig, i have no idea where it got that. Next door perhaps? I have no idea why it’s wearing it either, but it insists that i mustn’t touch it. It has long, slender arms with similarly slim fingers with small claws. On its shoulders it has a strange leafy material, in a sickly green colour. It has what appear to be crystals bursting from the leafy material. The group of crystals are dark greens and deep purples, with one large crystal that is jet black. I actually thought it was a lump of black steel at first. It appears to be able to float around at will. Telepathically perhaps? The most peculiar and interesting feature of this being is the intricate gold pocket watch that is chained to it’s wrist. Another of its acquisitions perhaps? It is resolute in the fact that the watch belongs to it though.

Chillingly, the being told me that the watch is counting down to the apocalypse. Now, i will be the first to admit that i am superstitious. I believe in the supernatural, the underworld and countless other planes of existence. But the apocalypse? I find that hard to believe. That would suggest that everything is predetermined. A thought i do not relish. But enough on that for now…

It calls itself Bbbolhugnith.  No, i don’t know how to pronounce it either. I’ve taken to calling it Bob. Far easier to say and the beast seems fairly disinterested in what i call it. Bob seems to be elusive in actually telling me who or what it is. I’ll admit i don’t even know if it’s a male or female. Perhaps gender is irrelevant to it. I haven’t been able to find any information on the beast and it’s not telling so i seem to be in limbo really. It lives in my house, ingesting copious amounts of peanut butter, occasionally helping me in a search for an obscure mythical beast. It seems to be able to easily evade any visitors. Either it’s a master at hiding or it has some power over magic.

How did i meet it? Well to be honest, it found me. I had just come back from a hunt in the northern cemetery with a small crystal fragment. I’d found it in the coven of cannibal witches I’d just managed to eliminate. No mean feat i assure you, but that’s a story for another time. I brought the deep, dark purple crystal home as i was certain it was something worth investigating further. I’m not sure it was the best idea now of course. That very same night, i get woken up to the sound of commotion in my kitchen. I burst in, pistol at hand, to see a small creature attaching the crystal to its back with one hand, and stuffing its gob with peanut butter with the other. It took one look at me and vanished into midair, leaving a pretty messed up kitchen. It never actually left. It’s still here. It seems to not mind me seeing it now. Why did it decide to stay here? Why did it run in the first place? What was the crystal? What the hell is with the peanut butter? I honestly have no idea, this creature is truly an enigma.

It’s not really the kind of companion that i would of liked. Bob comes in handy, yes. But it is frustratingly evasive and refuses to give me any information on itself. Hell, i had to hit it with a random kitchen implement a few times for it to even give me its name. I honestly imagined a companion being more human. Not to mention taller. Well, beggars can’t be choosers i suppose. I think I’ll leave it here, it sounds like Bob is causing a ruckus again. Pretty sure i hear a cat screeching its head off. Bob is probably attempting to burn it again. I wanted a companion, not a pet…”